Admittedly, I was going to gloss over the last forty-eight hours and just keep on truckin’. I have discovered that I just can’t do that. I have to stop lying to myself when my body and emotions are very clearly in shock. Heck, I didn’t even journal yesterday or get my butt out of bed till the absolute last moment to still get to work on time. So, in order to be authentic and transparent with myself…here it is.

The Summary
For the last decade, my husband has gone through what I have come to nickname “heart openings”. And in the last five years, his beautiful body has had other shifts and changes resulting in a seven liter transfusion, brain being nicked and all that. Throughout it all: he is still here. I am grateful that the primary physician -finally- listened and sent him to a cardiologist.

The Visits Continue
During this visit, I was extended the offer to go back to the room where he having his echocardiogram. OOO..hell yes I’m going. That was the initial excitement. I wasn’t so excited after getting to see the results of years of stress. And I’m diving into that more in just a moment, but, so, yet, however, I am grateful for his incredible will to live and be here now. Wow! Go Baby!

Reflection – Spiritual – God – Life
After we left the doctor’s office I was saying to myself “look at all of God in action”. It didn’t matter if a person was driving, walk, talking because literally I understood that in a different way. Not only that, I mused with how having such technology and being able to see the heart in such a way that everyone should get a echocardiogram done – before anything happens and/or just to see how wonderful their heart IS. Come on. The young miss in that tiny room gets to see how many hearts daily? She’s putting to use years of science, medical, and technological education to see the heart. How is the Divinity she is? Okay, I just thought of this, she’s a little angel inspector for all the tough cases out there who just need to relax a little more and not stress over the small shit anymore, so God in action, love in action can expand more. How about that? Whoop…celebration.

Remember folks, we are still here and all of us are doing the best we can with where we are. Not every-thing is what it appears to be. Stop/Reflect. Acknowledge. Feel. Expand. Arigato!

(Learn more about the S.A.F.E. practice at Sri and Kira. You got this! Find the gratitude.)