On this journey called liiife!!, YES! Arigato! I have developed habits that are good/bad by cultures – persons – and society “standards”. Oh yeah, I have totally been on a journey of further waking up to a great many habits and things that I could wallow in, around, and drown with self-pity. The good news is I have been catching those sneaky moments and infusing them with love! Hell, just writing on my brand new site here after years of trying to hide is a miracle in and of itself. Low self-esteem? I think so. However, but, so…I have started creating new habits through the acceptance of a re-introduction to the gift of balance and harmony through conscious awareness, thus allowed me myself to step out. Celebration! Small steps, small changes always big results. Self-Trust!

That’s not why I’m online at this moment, especially as my little brain is trying to tell me a million other things and stuff I could be doing. No. I’m here today to express a re-emerged love. Ha! Take that in my best swashbuckling move.

Over the course of about a month, I have been tinkering around with forcing myself to put down the little, tiny computer called a cell phone, approximately an hour before bed. Have you heard this story? You’ve been doing it too? Oh I hear the giggles. Anyway, last night, I began reading, Write the Story of Your Life by Ruth Kanin. I put it down after reaching the section in the first chapter of exercises to be explored and processed within one’s life. Well, shit. I started a goldilocks moment of I’m tired but not tired, yet defiantly don’t want to re-engage the body being awakened for deep hours into the night. Yes. I enjoy sleeping now and remembering my dreams and not having my eyes and head throbbing as if I drank a fifth with beer chasers. So, my gaze travelled to my sacred book shelf and there it was in clear view: The Bhagavad Gita Introduced and translated by Eknath Easwaran. In moments like these, I just do a flip open to a page and read it from there. Last night, shoot dang, I was at the Glossary. No, no, no. I’ll revisit. I tried again and came to the section of Selfless Service, page 104. This is all about action guys and gals. Stepping out of the habits of the pain of the pain. Celebration!

Look it. I literally went out and got a discounted calendar to trot around with as micro goals are accomplished either at a designated moment when I say I’m going to do it or throughout the day. Heck, I’ve gone so far as to set a two-minute timer to accomplish what I want to change and/or start BE-ing. In this rediscovering of myself, the rest begins to take care of itself. The best example I have was a stack of papers that I’ve put off from shredding. Not because I didn’t want to do it, but because I hadn’t been conditioning myself – to – do – anything remotely (lack of better word) cleansing. Clearing out the bullshit begins with yourself, but you gotta know it is there first by changing the habits. Pity party. Low-esteem yourself. But get up. Look at it, write it, flow with the changing you. When we don’t know the bullshit, it does being a tyrannical rulership over you (the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual you) that you didn’t know was there. Then while vibrating in that energy that you blinded yourself too and seeing as how everything is energy, neutral energy playing with YOU, hence, creation happens. Welcome to stepping out into this world of potentiality, as my teachers would say. What are you actually creating? And as I get reminded so often, get clear. Yes! Arigato! Reveal yourself to yourself and celebrate.